This morning, when I was at the gym taking a group class, the instructor said something really cool.
"Everyone is on a personal fitness journey. Maybe today, you're just trying to get through this class. Maybe you're past that, and today you're trying to SLAM this class."
She doesn't care which one it is... she's just glad we're there.
Two years ago, I wouldn't have gone this morning. Two years ago, I wasn't even a member of a gym. Two years ago, I was proud of myself for walking a couple of times a week around my neighborhood, pushing a stroller. Two years ago, I was still working on fixing what was broken inside, so I could be happy with the outside. Today was my 5th workout this week. Today, even though I'm tired, and the kids are already frazzled with Christmas glee, and I have a million other things I could have done, I did not do what I would have done two years ago. Today, I got my ass in gear, got the kids up and ready, fed everyone, made my son's lunch, got him out the door to school - with his trombone! - packed myself and my daughter up, and went to the gym for my hardest class of the week. Why? Because today, I'm a different person. My innards have morphed right along with my outtards.
My journey isn't over. I've learned that it probably never will be. I will constantly fight an inner battle with my relationship with food. But here's the thing: two years later, I've won the war. I got this. There will still be skirmishes. There will still be days where food wins, and that's even okay. But I will never again be obese. Because it's not who I am anymore.
Some of the stuff I've learned on this crazy journey:
1. On day one, you are always ready and raring to go.
2. On day five, you think you'll never make it.
3. You will. Just don't stop.
4. On day 365, you know you'll make it.
5. If you don't fix the inside, you will never love the outside, no matter how much you loose.
6. Yes, spending an hour or two in the gym (or wherever) everyday is absolutely worth the time you spend away from your kids. They would rather have a healthy, fit, happy parent who plays with them, instead of an unhealthy, unhappy, cranky and out-of-shape parent who is physically present but never gets down and dirty with them.
7. Don't diet. They don't work.
8. Do find the nutrition/exercise combo that works for you. I did not loose 80 pounds with tricks. I worked my butt off.
9. Don't listen to the critics. They're everywhere. I got criticized for being heavy, and I get criticized for being thin.
10. Once you've retrained it, listen to your body. After a while, it knows what it's doing better than you do.
11. Don't beat yourself up for having the occasional crappy meal. Or doughnut. Or burger. Or mac-n-cheese. Or even half a box of Munchkins (yes, I did that. Yesterday, actually. And, seriously... my body hates me today. But... yum). It happens. Just don't let it happen all the time.
12. Learn to love food again. Food is good, and it's meant to be enjoyed.
13. You have to do it for you. Until you're ready to do it for yourself, it won't work.
14. You do have the time. Get up earlier, go to bed later, just do it. The time is there, if you want to find it.
15. Believe. You can do this. I know you can.
