Why Do People DO That?

So... there have been many times in my life that I haven't understood people's actions. Some people loose it on the server at a restaurant because their food came out wrong, or late or whatever. Some people let friends or loved ones just slip out of their life. Some people lie, cheat or steal. Why? Maybe I'm naive or idealistic... but I just don't get it! Truly, it's not that hard to live an honest life.

It seems that, lately, I'm constantly surrounded by new drama. Even old drama has come back around. But at least I have some perspective on that. I have had people in my life that swear up and down that I'm like family. Then, when it's no longer easy, I'm just dust in the wind. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. I have gained time and perspective on people that I have truly adored, idolized and looked to for example, only to find out that really, the talk isn't walked. I have seen people that I knew... people that I once called friends... turn out to be child molesters. And I have seen people that teach honesty and integrity abuse and cheat on their spouses. And I just... don't... GET IT.

Is it really so hard to walk the talk? I mean, come on. If you preach to the people around you to tell the truth, tell it yourself. Is the truth harder sometimes? Oh, heck yeah. Does it always work for you in the end? Yup. My Grandmaster says there are things called "beautiful lies". On this, I agree. Grandmaster Rhee's example is usually this: A family is so poor that they cannot afford much food. At the end of the day, a girl is fixing dinner for herself and her elderly father. She realizes that there is only enough food for one, and so gives dinner to her father, and she goes without. When her father asks her if she has already eaten, she replies, "Yes, Father, I have." A beautiful lie.

But the majority of lies aren't beautiful. They're ugly. So... don't tell them. My son has told me a grand total of about 3 or 4 lies. He's four, so I'm sure there will be more, unfortunately. You know why it's only been that many? Because he gets in more trouble for the lie than the thing he lied about. Only took a few times... he's a fast learner. I hope it sticks through teenage hood! Yeah, right... But, on with my tirade.

And have you ever noticed lies have a theme? Lies are usually told for one of 3 reasons... they think the truth will get them in trouble, they think the lie is just easier, or they think the lie will be more impressive. Uhh... no, no and NO. Initially, maybe, but in the long run? All you do is get into more trouble. So, I say again... don't lie. So simple.

To some extent, we are all selfish. It's human nature to look out for number one. But, really... we should all stop at manipulating other people. Or keeping them from reaching their true potential because it doesn't suit us. Or get pissed off when people leave us. Let people be who they truly are, and the rewards for you - yes, even the selfish you - will be SO much greater. There's a saying that I'm about to mangle, but you'll get the gist: "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours for a lifetime." It's hard to let go, because of that selfish thing... but it's so much better. So, I say again... let people be who they are. So simple.

Child molestation... I don't think there are many evils that can top that one. And yet, it seems to be rampant. Are some people so sick in the head that they don't know right from wrong? Or have no conscience? I think there might be. But the vast majority of these offenders don't fall into those categories. The men I knew don't. And yet, even though they knew what they were doing was wrong, they did it, anyway. I can't even express to you the contempt and disgust I feel for people who do this. And the overwhelming sadness I feel that innocents have to go through that horror. I just don't understand it. And I don't understand the people who stand by and have an idea it might be going on, but say nothing. I feel incredibly guilty that I didn't see anything, yet there was no way I could - one was a martial arts "friend" I only saw at tournaments once a month or so, and another didn't come into his criminal activity until years after I had moved out of state (we were young when we knew each other). Thankfully, these two were caught, but there are countless others who get away with it. Takes a lot of bravery to ask for help or to speak up when you suspect something. But, for the sake of the innocents... do it, anyway. So it's not simple.

My last beef really, really kills me. Why, why, why do people cheat on their spouses??? I don't care what your excuse might be, it doesn't make it right. Your spouse abuses you. Ok... get help getting out. There are ways. And, really, you think that an abusive spouse would be perfectly calm when they find out? It sure seems like a good way to get yourself killed. Because they always find out. It's the nature of the beast. You're trapped in an unhappy marriage, but don't want to leave because of.... the kids, the money, whatever? Too bad. You made your bed, now lie in it. Suck it up or leave. Your spouse cheated on you, so you're getting him/her back? Ya, real mature. Listen, cheating is a deal breaker for me. I don't care what the circumstances are, it's not acceptable. And it's SO easy to avoid. Don't put yourself in a situation that might tempt you, short term or long. A married person has absolutely no business spending an excessive amount of alone time with a member of the opposite sex (unless one of them is gay (= ). It's asking for trouble. So, keep yourself out of it. So simple.

I guess it's in my nature, but I feel the need to mention some happy things, now. I have amazing people in my life, people that I've known forEVER. People that didn't act like I fell off the face of the planet anytime I moved. People that I still see and spend time with. People that don't lie and manipulate. The majority of my people are like that, as a matter of fact. And I'm grateful for them everyday. I have grown the ability, for the most part, to purge the nasty people from my life and to look out and be sure to not let any more in. And, I have an amazingly happy marriage. I actually have good communication with my husband. Which is not to say that we don't have our issues - all spouses do. But our learning curve is pretty steep, and we meant it when we said the part about the better and worse. I can't imagine my life without him... and if I was starting to have wandering eyes... I'd get some help, talk to someone (including him), and nip it in the bud. It's what a good wife or husband does, and I pray to God that I continue to be a good wife, walk the talk, and continue to be a person of integrity.

How about you?

Traveling with a 4 year old, Part 2

Ok, so... we made it! And it wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. He was impatient, definitely. At 8 am, he was in my room... "Mommy, it is time to go? How about now? Is it time, now? How much longer? How about I wait in the car?" Excited much? So, I had to stall him for a couple of hours, but then we were on our way to to airport. Thank you, whoever invented the portable DVD player!

So, we said our goodbye's to Daddy, and off we went to wait in the outrageous lines that are now part of the airport experience. Connor and his new Mohawk were quite the hit! He was a really good boy, and thought it was the coolest thing ever to take off his shoes and go barefoot through the metal detector. I had grown a brain since he was a baby, and decided to have lunch at the airport - way more entertaining than just sitting at the gate. Of course, the choice du jour was McDonald's. And from there, we pretty much walked onto the plane.

A little aside... While in the tube-thingy you walk down to get on the plane, there was another family behind us - Mom, Dad, 3-ish year old boy, and an almost 1-ish year old girl. It was quite the entourage. Anyway, the boy was about as excited as Connor, and started asking Mom if it was time to get on the plane. Mom said that yes, it was, but first "we have to wait for the rest of the people to get on". The little boy immediately started saying, quite loudly, I might add, as only little ones can, "Go 'way, people! Go 'way!" I looked back with a grin and Dad looked mortified. I said, "'Go 'way'... excellent!" to the Dad, and to the boy, "I feel the same way, buddy!"

So, being that the aviation people are a little anal about what you can and cannot use during takeoff these days (I've been flying since I was a little kid, listening to my music all through take off, and no one ever died, by the way) it was a bit tricky keeping my son in his seat belt and distracted until the plane started moving. Once we pulled away from the gate - thank God we didn't have to sit on the runway! - Connor was the consummate boy... "WOW, MOMMY! This plane goes faster than your CAR! How does it DO that!?" And he proceeded to ask me a million questions about how planes work. And, yes, I admit I might have made up an answer or two.

He was really a very good boy through the flight. Even after the batteries on his DVD player were spent, and we discovered that the batteries on his hand held Leapster game we dead, he drew, colored, and played Go Fish with me until we were ready to land. He even kept to a minimal dozen are so "Are we there, yet?"s and "How much longer?"s.

When we got off the plane, he had his eyes peeled for Nanny, and sprinted the last 50 yards to give her a hug. He only ran over two or three sets of toes with his rolly backpack on the way. The worst part, by far, was waiting for the luggage to come out. That dang conveyor belt is just too tempting looking to not touch! I did, however, avoid giving him a beating. Narrowly. But, since he was so good on the plane, I thought he deserved a pass.

So, all in all... it appears that I will actually take Connor on the plane with me for the return trip, as opposed to checking him with the baggage. I will be sure to have fresh batteries, though! And, considering how much fun we're having so far - it's worth every minute of travel, and I'll do it again in a heartbeat.

Traveling with a 4 year old...

It's already an adventure, and we haven't even left, yet! Pretty much every year these days, we go to the "homeland" (well, mine, anyway) - Miami. The first time with Connor was when he was 5 months old. I went a few days before my husband, and thus wound up traveling alone with a baby. And I SWORE I would never do it, again. Why is it we never seem to stick to that stuff? Because, of course, I'm doing it again. Traveling alone with the kiddo. But, you see, it will be different this time - he's almost five.

We've been counting down the days for a bit... we're down to 2 more to go. He wakes me up every morning, telling me the new count. "Two more days, Mommy!" So far, he's wanted to pack everything from his woobie (no problem) to the television (big problem) and all of his stuffed animals (no way). So, this time, the adventure begins at home.

We pack tomorrow and leave the day after. Once we arrive in Miami, all will be fine, I'm sure. Getting there, on the other hand... We have a 12:55pm flight, which means I have to distract him all morning until it's time to get in the car, drive for about an hour to the airport, wait at the airport for an hour to get on the plane, wait on the plane for Lord-only-knows-how-long to take off, and finally a 2.5 hour flight to Miami.

If nothing else, it should be interesting! Stay tuned....